Shussan Iwai: Baby Gifts and Return Gifts in Japan

Japanese families celebrate a birth with congratulatory gifts and a thank-you gift in return, and these customs are easy to follow once the timing and amounts make sense.

Published October 19, 2026 at 12:45 PM JST | By Tokyo Paul

Quick answer: Shussan iwai is the Japanese custom of giving a gift to celebrate a baby's birth, usually after the baby is born and the family is settled at home. The parents then send a thank-you return gift, called uchi-iwai or okaeshi, commonly worth roughly a third to a half of what they received, often with the baby's name attached.

What shussan iwai means

Shussan iwai literally means "birth celebration." It is the gift, or the celebration itself, offered to parents when a baby arrives. Relatives, friends and colleagues may give a present or money to share the happiness, and the gift is a way of saying that the community is glad the child has arrived. Unlike a baby shower, which in many countries takes place before the birth, the Japanese custom is usually observed after the baby is born.

The idea sits within a wider culture of marking milestones with gifts. The birth of a child is one of the occasions when congratulatory gifts and thank-you gifts are exchanged, along with weddings, school entrance and coming of age. The exchange builds ties between families, and being on the receiving end brings a light obligation to respond in kind.

Common gifts and amounts

Typical shussan iwai gifts include baby clothes, soft towels, toys, picture books and practical items for daily care. Cash is also common, offered in a decorated envelope called shugi-bukuro. A nippon.com guide to money gifts notes that congratulatory cash gifts in general range from 5,000 to 30,000 yen depending on the relationship, that the first digit of the amount is often an odd number, and that 4 and 9 are avoided because of their sound associations.

Relatives and close friends tend to give larger amounts than colleagues. A group of coworkers may pool money for one gift. For visitors or foreign friends, a modest, thoughtful present is welcome, and nobody expects a large sum. Items the family can use right away, such as soft cotton clothing in a size for a few months of age, are usually appreciated. Because newborn sizes are outgrown quickly, many gift-givers choose a slightly larger size. Bath items, soft blankets and baby-care sets are also popular, and asking the parents what they already have helps avoid duplicates.

Timing and how to present the gift

Gifts are usually given after the birth, once the parents have announced it and are home with the baby. Many families prefer visitors to wait a few weeks so that mother and baby can rest, and some have a traditional first outing to a shrine, called miyamairi, about a month after birth. Waiting until the family is ready to receive guests is considerate.

Money gifts are traditionally placed in a red-and-white envelope with a noshi decoration in the upper right corner, and nippon.com notes that many people use brand-new bills and hand the envelope over with both hands. Gifts can also be sent by delivery to the home, with a short note of congratulations. A simple "Omedeto gozaimasu" (congratulations) is a warm greeting in person or in writing.

Okaeshi and uchi-iwai: the return gift

After receiving a gift, Japanese parents usually send a return gift. It is called okaeshi (a return) or uchi-iwai (a celebration shared with those close to the family). The site nippon.com notes that the value of an uchi-iwai return gift is usually set at a certain percentage of the amount received, so it is smaller than the original gift and works as a token of thanks.

In many families the common guideline is roughly one third to one half of the value of the original gift, which is why it is often described as "about half." This is a guideline, not a rule, and families vary. Return gifts are often sweets, tea, towels or a small catalog from which the recipient can choose an item. They often carry the baby's name on the wrapping and are usually sent within a month or so of receiving the gift.

Choosing and wrapping a return gift

Parents who are new to the custom often choose items that are practical and easy to share. Packaged sweets, tea, coffee, soap, towels and gift catalogs are all common, because they suit many tastes and are easy to ship. Individually wrapped sweets are convenient when the recipient is a coworker who shares them with a team. The price is chosen in relation to the value of the gift received.

The wrapping carries a noshi, the decorative paper strip used for happy occasions, with a short phrase on top and the baby's name written beneath it. A handwritten thank-you card with a line about the baby is a warm addition, and some families include a photograph. Friends overseas who receive a return gift can read the name on the wrapping as the baby's own name, a small way of introducing the child.

Etiquette for foreign friends

A foreign friend or colleague does not need to follow every rule. Giving a heartfelt present with a note is enough. If the family is Japanese, a gift on the lower side of the expected range, or a practical item rather than cash, avoids the question of the return gift altogether. Some friends choose an item that does not need a thank-you response, such as a handwritten card with a small gift.

When receiving a return gift, say thank you and accept it with both hands if the setting is formal. Do not feel obliged to give something back in turn; the cycle ends with the return gift. If the family declines a gift, accept the answer gracefully, since some prefer not to exchange gifts at all.

Related customs for a new baby

The first weeks after a birth include other customs. Miyamairi is a shrine visit, usually held about a month after birth, where the baby is presented to the local deity. Okuizome, the first meal ceremony, takes place around 100 days after birth. At miyamairi, the family gives thanks for the birth, and a priest prays for the child's health and happiness.

Family gatherings for these events often involve both sets of grandparents, and relatives may bring gifts. A return gift can be prepared for these occasions as well. Customs differ by region and family, so asking the parents or a local friend is the best way to learn what is expected. This guide shares general cultural information, not professional advice.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is shussan iwai?

Shussan iwai is the Japanese custom of giving a gift or celebration to mark a baby's birth. Gifts include baby clothes, practical items or cash in a decorated envelope, and they are usually given after the baby is born and the family is settled at home.

How much is the okaeshi return gift worth?

Commonly around one third to one half of the value of the gift received, which is why it is often called "about half." The site nippon.com notes that its value is usually set at a certain percentage of the amount received. Families vary, so treat this as a guideline.

Should a foreign friend give a gift for a baby in Japan?

A small, thoughtful present is welcome, and a card with a note of congratulations is enough. Cash in an envelope is traditional, but a practical baby item works well. Wait until the family is home and ready for guests, and avoid sets of four.

Want to go deeper? Tokyo Paul's book Japanese Parenting Secrets That Create Calm, Independent Children is available on Amazon.

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