Bonenkai: Japan's Year-Forgetting Parties

Understand bonenkai, the lively December parties where Japanese coworkers and friends leave the old year behind, with tips on izakaya etiquette and timing.

Published October 17, 2026 at 10:29 PM JST | By Tokyo Paul

Quick answer: A bonenkai is a Japanese year-end party, usually held in December among coworkers or friends, whose name means forget-the-year gathering. It is often held at an izakaya, with shared dishes and a toast to leave the old year behind.

A Party Designed to Let Go

December in Japan has a festive soundtrack of its own: groups of colleagues and friends crowding into warmly lit restaurants, clinking glasses and trading stories about the busy year that is ending. These gatherings are called bonenkai, which literally means forget-the-year party, and they are among the most characteristic social events of the season. The idea is lovely in its simplicity. Before the New Year arrives, people gather to put aside the troubles and tensions of the past twelve months, thank one another, and look forward with a fresh mind. This guide covers the history of the custom, how a typical party works, the etiquette worth knowing, and how visitors can enjoy the atmosphere.

A bonenkai is not a formal ceremony, and there is no fixed date. Most take place in December, on whichever evening suits the group, which is why izakaya, the casual Japanese pubs, can be especially busy at that time. For a visitor walking through a city center in the evening, the cheerful noise coming from restaurants is a sign that the season is in full swing.

Where the Tradition Comes From

The custom has a long past. It is said to have begun in the fifteenth century, during the Muromachi period, as gatherings to express thanks, which were then known as nokai. From the late sixteenth century, samurai lords are recorded as gathering on December 30 for an event they called the forgetting of the year, which included poetry and a large feast. By the eighteenth century the gatherings were commonly known as bonenkai.

For ordinary people the custom spread widely after the feudal system was abolished in the late nineteenth century. Around that time, the writer Tsubouchi Shoyo even published a newspaper story titled Bonenkai about a boisterous party. In the decades after the Second World War, many companies with traditions of long-term employment organized a year-end bonenkai as one of their regular events. Today the party exists in many versions, from big company gatherings to small reunions of friends, school clubs and neighbors.

The timing is also worth understanding. Bonenkai belong to the end of December and are separate from the New Year celebrations known as shogatsu, which run through January 3. A different kind of gathering, the shinnenkai, or New Year party, takes place in January. Together these two parties bracket the turn of the year, one saying goodbye to the old and the other welcoming the new.

What Happens at a Bonenkai

Most bonenkai are held at izakaya, informal Japanese bars that serve drinks along with a wide range of small dishes. An izakaya is somewhere between a pub and a tapas restaurant, and it is a natural home for a large group because the food is shared. Dishes such as edamame, yakitori skewers, karaage fried chicken, sashimi and tofu are typically ordered for the table and arrive as they are ready. Many groups finish the meal with rice or noodles, which gives the evening a satisfying end.

Organizers often choose a set course with an all-you-can-drink plan, called nomihodai, which usually lasts for two or three hours. Many izakaya also bring a small appetizer called otoshi soon after you sit down, which acts as a table charge. A typical evening begins with a toast, kanpai, led by the organizer or a senior member, and then the conversation and the dishes flow.

One special feature is the idea of bureiko, a relaxed atmosphere in which the usual formalities between bosses and staff, or between older and younger people, are set aside for the evening. In theory everyone speaks more freely and shares a laugh across levels. Companies often plan around attendance and budget so that the cost is comfortable for everyone, and some pay for part or all of the party themselves. This is part of why a bonenkai can feel like a gift of the workplace to its people.

Etiquette and Good Manners

Although the mood is relaxed, a few customs are helpful to know. It is polite to wait for the toast before taking your first sip, and it is common to pour drinks for others at your table rather than only for yourself. Topping up a neighbor's glass is a small gesture of care, and you will often be offered the same. If you prefer not to drink alcohol, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for a soft drink or tea, and most groups are happy to accommodate that choice.

Punctuality counts. Arrive on time, since the group typically starts together, and let the organizer know early if you have dietary restrictions. Because dishes are shared, take a modest portion first and make sure everyone has a chance to try each plate. Many people exchange greetings that express gratitude for the year, a phrase that translates roughly as thank you for your help this year, which sets a warm tone.

The party may continue elsewhere. In many groups some members move on to a second venue, known as nijikai, for more food, karaoke or a final drink. Joining is always optional, and leaving at a sensible hour with a cheerful goodbye is entirely normal. Keep an eye on the last trains, which can be crowded in December, and plan your route home in advance.

Tips for Visitors in December

Travelers can enjoy the bonenkai season even without an invitation. The simplest way is to visit an izakaya yourself, ideally with a reservation, because December is a popular month for large groups and popular places can fill up quickly. Ask for a seat at the counter if you are alone or in a small party, or book a table well ahead if you are in a larger group. Trying shared dishes and ordering a few items at a time is the best way to experience the style of dining that bonenkai guests enjoy.

If you do receive an invitation, say from a Japanese friend, a host or a business contact, treat it as a warm gesture. Accept graciously, join in the toast, and offer thanks at the end. A small and thoughtful remark about how much you enjoyed the evening is always appreciated. Keep your voice friendly and your conversation positive, since the spirit of the day is to leave problems behind.

Remember that business hours change toward the end of the year. Many offices and shops close for the New Year holidays, and some restaurants take a break as well, so check opening times in advance. Finishing your sightseeing before the final week of December can make travel easier. Evenings are cold, so a warm coat is a good idea for the walk to the restaurant.

Quick Takeaways

Bonenkai are year-end parties held mostly in December, at which friends and colleagues gather to forget the troubles of the past year and to thank one another. The custom reaches back to the Muromachi period and was popular among samurai before it spread to ordinary people. Most are held at izakaya, with shared dishes, a toast of kanpai, an all-you-can-drink plan and a relaxed atmosphere in which formal ranks are set aside. Politeness, punctuality and generosity in pouring drinks for others are the keys to good manners.

For a traveler, the season is a chance to see a joyful side of Japanese social life. A reservation at a local izakaya, a few shared plates and a friendly toast capture much of the feeling. As the party breaks up and people head into the cold night, you will see the idea at work: a lighter heart, ready for the new year.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does bonenkai mean?

The word means forget-the-year party. The purpose is to put the troubles of the past twelve months behind, thank one another, and look ahead to the New Year together, usually over food and drinks. Parties are usually held in December.

How long has the bonenkai tradition existed?

It is said to date to the fifteenth century in the Muromachi period, when similar gatherings were called nokai. By the eighteenth century they were known as bonenkai, and they spread to ordinary people in the late nineteenth century.

What is the difference between a bonenkai and a shinnenkai?

A bonenkai is held in December to close the old year, while a shinnenkai is a New Year gathering held in January to welcome the new one. Together they bracket the turn of the year.

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