Itadakimasu and Gochisosama: Teaching Kids Table Manners

Two short phrases open and close every Japanese meal, and they carry a whole approach to gratitude, chopsticks and not wasting food that children absorb early.

Published October 19, 2026 at 11:04 AM JST | By Tokyo Paul

Quick answer: Itadakimasu is said before a meal and means roughly "I humbly receive," expressing thanks to everyone and everything that made the food possible. Gochisosama is said afterward as thanks for the meal. Japanese children learn both phrases early, together with habits such as using chopsticks properly, finishing the food on the plate and avoiding waste.

The two phrases and what they mean

Itadakimasu comes from the verb itadaku, "to receive" in a humble way, plus the polite ending -masu. Wikipedia's article describes it as a phrase said before eating to show gratitude, and the Wikipedia article on Japanese etiquette explains that the thanks goes to everyone involved in producing the food, from growers to cooks. Children typically say it with palms pressed together and a small nod.

Gochisosama is the counterpart said at the end of the meal. It is commonly explained as thanks for the feast, offered to whoever prepared and served the food. Together the two phrases frame the meal like brackets. Wikipedia's article does not discuss gochisosama in detail, so its wording and use come from general knowledge of Japanese etiquette.

A short history

Wikipedia says the phrase may trace to the Asuka period, when Buddhism was prominent, because Buddhist thought treats all beings as equal and the phrase expresses respect for all of them. The earliest documented record it cites is from 1812, in an etiquette book titled Koko Michibiki Gusa. It also says that in the Showa period the Jodo Shinshu school of Buddhism strongly encouraged the habit.

The same article notes that the word is taught at a young age and that Japanese people believe it influences children's emotional development, by teaching that words carry emotional meaning. The claims about origins are cautious, with "may trace" wording, so the history is best treated as a plausible account rather than a settled fact.

Whatever the origin, the modern use is simple. The phrase works as a daily moment of thanks that families can use in a religious or non-religious way, and it reminds children that a meal involves the work of many people, from farmers and fishers to the person who cooked.

Teaching the phrases to young children

Children usually learn itadakimasu in daycare or at home long before they can read. Adults say it together, pause for a moment and then begin. In group settings such as a daycare lunch table, children may say the phrase in unison before anyone eats, which helps younger children learn by hearing their classmates. Repeating the same words at the start and end of every meal makes the habit automatic, and children often start to remind adults themselves.

Food education, called shokuiku, is a policy theme in Japan. The Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries maintains a portal on shokuiku with the Basic Act, basic plans and dietary guidance. The portal gathers the Basic Act on Shokuiku, the national plans for promoting food education and guides that explain how families, schools and communities can take part, and learning table manners at shared meals is one of the everyday goals people commonly connect with it.

Chopstick basics for beginners

Learning chopsticks is a gradual process. Many families begin with spoons and fingers, then move to a learner pair joined at the top before trying regular chopsticks. There is no fixed age; children differ, and adults can celebrate each small step instead of correcting every grip.

Wikipedia's etiquette article lists several well-known taboos worth teaching once children are ready. Do not pass food directly from chopsticks to chopsticks, since it recalls how bones are handled after cremation. Do not stand chopsticks upright in rice, which resembles funeral incense. Do not point chopsticks at someone, and do not use mismatched pairs. If no serving utensils are available, use the ends of your chopsticks to take shared food.

Practice can be playful. Picking up soft pieces of food, small pom-poms or pieces of paper with chopsticks turns the skill into a game, and short sessions keep frustration low. If a child prefers a fork or spoon at a meal, that is fine, and the child can return to chopsticks when interest comes back.

Finishing food and the idea of mottainai

Wikipedia's etiquette article says children are especially encouraged to finish every grain of rice, and its article on mottainai describes a feeling of regret over waste, often rendered as "what a waste." The article cites a 2002 magazine piece describing a dinner-table principle in which many people consider it rude to leave even a single grain of rice in the bowl.

For children, the lesson is concrete: take what you can eat, and enjoy what is on the plate. Parents can serve small portions and offer seconds, which lets a child succeed at finishing. Such habits support the gratitude expressed in itadakimasu without turning meals into battles.

The mottainai article adds a wider context. It says the Kenyan environmentalist Wangari Maathai introduced the word at a United Nations session as a slogan for environmental protection, linking it to the four Rs: reduce, reuse, recycle and repair. It also notes that some writers present mottainai as specifically Buddhist, while a historian cited there cautions that claims of it being uniquely Japanese rest largely on broad cultural generalizations.

Gentle ways to handle picky eating

Finishing food is a custom, not a reason to force a child. Japanese guidance on child-rearing urges parents to listen to feelings, avoid humiliation and use calm, clear instructions. Since April 2020 Japanese law has prohibited corporal punishment by parents, and the ministry's examples of banned punishment include withholding dinner, so mealtime should not become a punishment.

Instead, offer a bite of a new food, serve it again later in a different form, and eat the same food yourself. Mayo Clinic notes that regular routines for sleep, meals and quiet time help reduce frustration in toddlers. If you worry about a child's eating, a pediatrician can advise.

Using the phrases outside Japan

Families abroad can borrow the ritual without any religious meaning. Pick a short phrase in any language or use the Japanese words, pause together before eating, and say a thank-you at the end. Some families add a moment to name one thing they are grateful for, or let a child take turns leading the phrase so it stays fresh.

Pair the ritual with practical manners: sitting until others finish, helping to set the table and clearing dishes. This guide shares general cultural information and published sources, not professional advice; for a child's health or feeding, talk with a pediatrician or local clinic. Meal customs differ among households, so adapt the details.

Meals do not have to be formal for the ritual to work. A snack on the sofa or a picnic can start with a quick itadakimasu. Short, cheerful repetition is what builds the habit, and it costs nothing.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does itadakimasu mean?

It means roughly "I humbly receive" and is said before a meal to express gratitude to all who made the food possible, from growers and cooks to nature itself. Children in Japan learn it early, often saying it with palms together.

What is gochisosama?

Gochisosama is said at the end of a meal to thank the host or cook and acknowledge the meal. It pairs with itadakimasu, and the two phrases are used daily in most Japanese households. A common way to explain it is as "thank you for the feast."

Why are Japanese children encouraged to finish their rice?

Japanese etiquette encourages finishing every grain of rice, connected to the feeling of mottainai, regret over waste. Children are guided to take only what they can eat. This is a custom rather than a hard rule, and parents are encouraged to avoid forcing children to eat.

Want to go deeper? Tokyo Paul's book Japanese Discipline Secrets is available on Amazon.

Keep Exploring

More guides from Tokyo Paul: Teaching Gratitude to Kids: The Japanese Habit of Thanks, Why Japanese Kids Eat Everything: Food Habits That Start Young and Shokuiku: Japan's Food Education Approach for Children.