Oni ga Kuru: The Demon Threat in Japanese Parenting

Discover where the "the oni is coming" warning comes from, how Namahage and Setsubun use demons as folklore, and which gentler alternatives families can try today.

Published October 19, 2026 at 11:11 AM JST | By Tokyo Paul

Quick answer: Oni ga kuru means "the oni (demon) is coming," a phrase parents in Japan have long used to nudge children toward good behavior. It draws on folklore such as the Namahage visits in Akita on New Year's Eve and the bean-throwing of Setsubun. Today many families keep the festivals as playful traditions while choosing calmer, non-frightening ways to guide children.

What the phrase means

An oni is a horned ogre or demon from Japanese folklore, usually shown with a fierce face, a tiger-skin loincloth, and sometimes an iron club. Oni ga kuru is a short sentence meaning "an oni is coming." In the old style of household discipline it was a warning to a child who would not go to bed, finish a meal, or stop crying, with the unspoken message that the oni visits children who misbehave.

Folklore uses many such figures. English-speaking households have the bogeyman, and many cultures have a creature that supposedly arrives at night. The Japanese oni is distinctive because it also appears in festivals, picture books, and cartoons, which means children meet it in cheerful settings as well as in warnings.

For overseas parents, the phrase is useful mainly as a window into Japanese folklore. It is also a reminder that a story told in a festival, where adults are visible and kindly, can feel very different from a threat delivered in a moment of frustration.

Namahage: the best-known oni visit

The most famous example comes from the Oga Peninsula in Akita Prefecture. Namahage are men in large oni masks and straw capes called kede, who visit homes on New Year's Eve. They carry model knives and a wooden pail, and they stomp through the house shouting, with one of the best-known lines being "Nakuko wa inee ga?" (Are there any crybabies around?).

According to the Japan National Tourism Organization, the figures are regarded as benevolent spirits who guard against misfortune and bring good luck to families. In practice the visit is a ritual in which the head of the household welcomes the visitors, talks with them, and offers food and drink so they leave in good spirits.

The tradition was added to UNESCO's Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity in 2018, together with other visiting-deity rituals from across Japan. The date of the visit has changed over time; it was once held on Koshogatsu (the Little New Year, the 15th day of the first lunar month) and is now held on New Year's Eve.

How the visit works for children

Parents are involved in the Namahage visit, which is part of why it can be a positive experience. The Wikipedia article on Namahage notes that parents know which local men are playing the visitors each year. Parents may ask them to remind their children of particular lessons, such as helping at home, and the visitors repeat the message before they depart.

Another visiting figure, the toshidon of Satsumasendai in Kagoshima, follows a similar pattern. According to nippon.com, the toshidon ask children about their behavior, then praise, scold, or advise them, and hang a rice cake on each child's back. The cake is said to make the child a year older and give strength for the coming year. Praise is part of the ritual, and not only scolding.

The shared pattern is that the visit takes place at a set time, in the presence of family, and ends with a warm gesture. Many children find the visit frightening as well as exciting. A parent standing nearby, holding the child's hand, can make all the difference.

Setsubun: throwing beans at the oni

Setsubun, held around February 3 on the eve of the traditional beginning of spring, is the other great oni event. The usual custom is to throw roasted soybeans, called fukumame (fortune beans), out the front door or at a person wearing an oni mask while shouting "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" (Demons out! Good fortune in!). The door is then shut. The beans are thought to purify the home.

Afterward people eat one bean for each year of their age, often plus one more for luck in the coming year. In many homes a family member wears the oni mask, so the "demon" is someone the child knows, and the game ends in laughter. Schools and kindergartens often hold their own versions.

Because the oni is chased away by the children in Setsubun, the festival reverses the usual power balance. Instead of the demon frightening the child, the child gets to scare the demon. That is why some parents see Setsubun as a gentle way to talk about fear, courage, and driving away bad luck.

The debate over fear-based discipline

Japan has been rethinking discipline in recent years. In April 2020 a law revision took effect that prohibits corporal punishment by parents and others with parental authority, and the national guidelines issued in 2020 state that humiliating and degrading punishments also violate children's rights. The wider conversation about gentler approaches includes questions about threats and scare tactics.

Some parents and child development writers argue that frightening children with an imaginary oni can make bedtime or the dark more worrying, and that the warning teaches children to behave out of fear rather than understanding. Others see the oni as harmless play, no different from a fairy tale. Both views are common, and families decide for themselves.

A helpful distinction is between a festival, in which an oni appears at a planned time with loving adults close by, and a threat used on the spot when a parent is tired. The first is shared tradition; the second can leave a child worried when no one has explained anything.

Related visiting figures and terms

Namahage belong to a larger family of New Year visitors often linked with the idea of toshigami, the deities of the incoming year. According to nippon.com, similar masked or costumed visitors appear in Yuza in Yamagata (the amahage), in Ofunato in Iwate (the suneka), in the Noto area of Ishikawa (the amamehagi), and on islands in Okinawa, where figures such as the paantu smear mud on houses to chase away misfortune.

Each of these visitors has its own costume, season, and local customs, but they share a purpose: driving away illness and bad luck and reinforcing community life. Children are often part of the audience, and in several places the visit includes a conversation with the household before the figures depart.

Two more terms are handy. Oni-gokko is the Japanese version of tag in which one player is the oni, and oni no men means an oni mask. Both appear in nursery and kindergarten play, and both show how the oni has become a familiar character rather than only a warning.

Gentler alternatives and a note for overseas families

Parents who prefer to skip the threat have many options. Clear, calm statements about what happens next ("After the bath, it is time for books") work well for young children, as do simple choices ("Do you want to put your shoes on first or your coat?"). Positive attention for cooperation, a visual routine chart, and a predictable bedtime ritual all reduce the need for warnings of any kind.

Families who enjoy the oni can still use it as a character in play. Reading picture books about friendly oni, making paper masks for Setsubun, or inventing a silly oni who needs help finding his lost shoe lets children turn the figure into a source of fun. The World Health Organization counts supportive family environments among the things that protect young people's mental health, which is one reason many families now lean toward calm guidance.

This guide shares general cultural information, not professional advice; for a child's health or sleep concerns, talk with a pediatrician or local clinic. Festival dates can shift slightly, so check the current schedule if you plan to attend an event.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does oni ga kuru mean?

Oni ga kuru means "the oni is coming." An oni is a horned ogre from Japanese folklore. Parents have traditionally said it to encourage children to behave, much like the bogeyman in other cultures. Today some families still say it playfully, while many choose calmer wording that does not rely on fear.

Are Namahage real demons that scare children?

Namahage are men in oni masks and straw capes who visit homes in Oga, Akita, on New Year's Eve. They are regarded as benevolent visiting deities who guard against misfortune. Parents know who is playing them and welcome them with food. Many children find the visit frightening, which is part of the ritual's tradition.

Is it acceptable to use the oni to discipline children?

Families make their own choice. Setsubun and Namahage are lively traditions that most people enjoy, and an oni can be a fun character in play. Experts in many countries encourage calm guidance over threats made in frustration, so parents often keep the festival but use clear routines and positive attention for daily behavior.

Want to go deeper? Tokyo Paul's book Japanese Discipline Secrets is available on Amazon.

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