Should you shake hands or hug in Japan?

Learn why bowing is the default greeting in Japan, when a handshake is welcome, and how to read the other person's cues about touch.

Published October 20, 2026 at 8:35 PM JST | By Tokyo Paul

Quick answer: Bowing is the traditional greeting in Japan, but handshakes are widely accepted with foreign visitors and in business, so follow the other person's lead. Hugs and kisses are uncommon outside close friends and family, and are best avoided with new acquaintances. If nobody offers a hand, a smile and a small nod are always safe.

Bowing first, touch second

In Japan, the traditional greeting does not involve touch at all. People bow, which allows a greeting, a thank-you or an apology without physical contact. Reference sources note that bowing is deeply embedded in daily life, from shop service to business meetings.

This does not mean touch is forbidden. It means personal space is normal, and physical contact is saved for people who know each other well. Close family, couples and old friends hug, but strangers rarely do. A new acquaintance who steps in for a hug or a cheek kiss may surprise someone, even if the person is polite about it.

For overseas visitors, the best approach is to keep a comfortable distance, offer a smile and a nod, and watch what the other person does. Within a few seconds, their body language will usually tell you what feels right, and a relaxed smile helps the moment pass easily whichever way it goes.

When a handshake is the right move

Many Japanese people shake hands with non-Japanese visitors, and the gesture is common in business and international settings. Etiquette references note that people often combine a handshake with a bow. A handshake is also familiar to younger people, to those who have studied or worked overseas, and to staff in international hotels and tourism roles.

The simplest rule is to wait for the other person's hand. If they extend it, shake gently and briefly, usually with a lighter grip than in some countries. If they bow instead, return a bow or a nod. If you offer your hand and the other person seems unsure, you can ease into a bow without fuss.

At first meetings, the handshake often pairs with hajimemashite (nice to meet you) and a name. Business cards, if exchanged, are usually given and received with both hands. A short handshake and a light bow can happen together.

Step by step: how to greet in different situations

In a shop, hotel or restaurant, a nod and a smile are enough. Staff may bow, and you do not have to bow back deeply. In a business setting, wait for the host to set the tone, then match their gesture. A light bow, a handshake if offered, and a polite phrase make a good start.

At social events or with new friends, begin with a smile and a verbal greeting. If a friend opens their arms, accept the hug warmly. If they stay at arm's length, a wave or nod is perfectly friendly. A pause of a second or two gives both sides time to read the situation.

When leaving, a bow or a nod, a polite word such as arigato gozaimasu (thank you) and a smile are widely understood. Avoid lingering touch on arms or shoulders with people you have just met.

Who this suits and special cases

Business travelers will meet the widest range of greetings. A handshake is common in international companies, while traditional firms may prefer bowing. Travelers can let the host decide. Older professionals may lean toward bows, and younger colleagues may offer handshakes more readily.

Families can explain the idea to children in simple terms: in Japan, people often greet with a nod, so a wave or a bow is the friendly option. Children are generally welcome and affectionate behavior from kids is usually met with warmth. Parents can still encourage polite personal space.

Couples traveling together should note that public displays of affection tend to be modest. Holding hands is common enough, but long embraces or kissing in busy public places are less typical. Solo travelers meeting friends of friends should keep greetings light, and let closeness grow naturally.

Common mistakes and misunderstandings

A common misunderstanding is that hugging is rude. It is not rude, but it can surprise people who are not used to it. Another is forcing a deep bow in every situation, which can feel stiff. A friendly nod usually does the job.

A third is gripping a hand too firmly or holding it for a long time. A short, gentle shake is typical. Some visitors also reach out to touch someone's arm or back while talking, which may feel unfamiliar to the other person, so it is best to wait until you know each other.

Finally, avoid kissing on the cheek unless you are with close friends who already greet that way. If a Japanese friend has lived abroad, they may be fully comfortable with it, but visitors should let the friend lead. Customs vary by person, age and setting.

Planning tips and alternatives

If you are unsure, use a three-part greeting: eye contact, a small nod and a spoken phrase such as konnichiwa (hello) or hajimemashite. This fits almost every situation and does not require guessing about touch.

Before a business trip, check how the company or hosts typically greet. International offices lean toward handshakes, while traditional settings may emphasize bowing. A short note from the host often settles the question. For social events, watch the first few introductions and follow the pattern.

Customs shift with age, region and situation. Younger people and those with international experience may welcome a handshake or a quick hug, while others may prefer distance. There is no fixed rule, so a warm smile and respect for personal space cover most cases.

What to remember when you arrive

On the day of arrival, keep your hands relaxed, your voice calm and your smile ready. If someone bows, bow or nod back. If someone offers a hand, shake it briefly. If someone steps in for a hug, accept warmly.

Learn a few easy phrases: konnichiwa, arigato gozaimasu and sumimasen (pardon or sorry). Pair them with a nod, and the greeting will feel natural. Do not worry about getting each gesture exactly right, because Japanese people generally appreciate the effort.

For more background on bowing and general manners, general reference pages on Japanese etiquette are easy to find. Check with your hosts or event organizers if you need specifics. Their cues are the most reliable guide, and travelers who stay observant rarely run into trouble. If a situation feels unclear, a polite nod is a safe default that works almost everywhere.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it rude to hug a Japanese friend?

Not rude, but it can feel unfamiliar. Close friends who have lived abroad may be comfortable with hugs, while others may prefer a bow or a handshake. Let the friend lead. If they open their arms, hug warmly. If not, a smile and a wave show affection without crossing a boundary.

Do Japanese business people expect handshakes from foreigners?

Many are used to handshakes with foreign visitors and often combine them with a bow. Others may prefer bowing only. The easiest course is to wait for the host to move first, then match their gesture. A firm but brief handshake is fine, and a light bow is a good addition.

How close should visitors stand when talking?

Japanese conversation distance is often a little wider than in some countries. Keep an arm's length or so unless the setting is crowded. On trains and in lifts, people stand quietly and avoid touching. A calm voice and relaxed posture help everyone feel at ease.

Want to go deeper? Tokyo Paul's book Japanese Culture and Customs is available on Amazon.

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More guides from Tokyo Paul: How do you greet someone in Japan?, How do you bow in Japan and do tourists need to? and Renrakucho: The Daily Contact Book Between Home and School.